A penny for my thoughts

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. (Steve Jobs)

Many people say that things always happen for a reason, i don't know if people say that just to make a situation less horrible than it actually is or that these people have experienced that yes, everything happens for a reason and in time that reason will be more apparent. I guess this is where faith and for some people, religion comes in. I guess having faith that there is reason behind an occurrence or situation somehow gives it meaning, and people of course would like to believe that somehow their existence in this world have meaning, that they are here for a reason because if it is the opposite then life would be rendered futile and we are just here waiting for our time to come.

When i read that speech i started thinking about my life (parang ang tanda na eh! lol) and tried to connect the dots, the dots being decisions i made in my life which lead me to where i am now, nowhere near where i imagined myself to be ten years ago but thankfully happy.

I was surprised to see that they do all really connect and that i never really truly regretted anything because it seems that i always follow my heart in every decision. I always choose the situation which makes me happiest. The decisions i made were not all the right decisions but it was the decision wherein i was happy. To cite an example, i semi-cheated on my ex boyfriend of 9 years, semi because i asked his permission if i could date other people since i was studying abroad at that time and also allowed him the same privilege. My point is if i didn't study abroad, i wouldn't have semi-cheated and realized that there really is something wrong with our relationship, i wouldn't have had the courage to break it off and would have gotten engaged when i got back, by the way, thanks Dom for discouraging him to propose, and be married now to a person i no longer shared the same connection with as when we first met. So see, a reason for everything! lol. Even my semi-cheating brought out something good, and i'm not just justifying my mistake lol.

A lot of people ask me if i regret wasting 9 years of my life and to not have it work out, well now that i think of it no. It was what i wanted at that time so i don't regret it because i was happy... at that time. I was happy not going out and always staying in, not meeting or dating anyone during most part of high school and college. I never felt that i missed out on experiencing high school and college because i didn't miss out, my experience was just different and at that time it suited me well and i was contented.

Anyway, my point is that always follow your bliss. Even if it turns out to be a mistake when you look back and try to connect the dots, you will not regret it because it was what made you happy and there is a reason that it makes you happy. I'm not saying to kill the girl flirting with your bf because it makes you happy, that's totally different. HAHAHAHAHA.

so keep looking for that something you love and that makes you happy. don't settle. trust that you will find it.

happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late.